My Mental Illness

You can talk about almost anything that you want to on this board.

Moderator: Moderators

User avatar
jargon
B&: This is not your blog
Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:40 pm
Location: 480/85260
Contact:

My Mental Illness

Post by jargon » Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:13 am

tonight i got owned
i spent a lot of money on dinner and a date with my ex
then i find out after bad sex she is still seeing someone
meanwhile i was paranoid any given other felon in her apartment were going to shoot or stab me
worst thing the guy she is still seeing goes to the same mental health clinic as me

:(

and he is some psycho native american guy
so now i have to change mental health clinics

>:/

and i am now prolly all full of stds despite wearing a condom
i didn't enjoy the sex at all because i knew something was fishy
i am giving up on love

doesn't help that my dad treats me like trash every day
doesn't help that my little brother tells pretty much everyone he meets how stupid i am
it's not my fault my iq is dropping 8pts on average a year
in another 10 or 15 years i will be a vegetable at this rate

:(

at-least my neurologist was able to reproduce the behavior in my brain in which i go partially blind by figuring out what induces it
apparently when i go damn near 100% i end up having an outer body experience due to being 100% cut off from my stimuli
and that is why i keep having premonitions and experiencing 'temporal displacements'
apparently just watching a tv show like "csi miami" is enough to set it off

:(

hell eventually it will get worse to the point of just seeing the no walk signal at an intersection could set it off, while i am driving
the other month the power went out due to a **massive** lightning storm and while approaching a 4 way blinking red signal i nearly ran over a cop that just looked like a spatial distortion to me

:(

the neurologist thinks it might be retinal migraines
i think it is also combined with some form of epilepsy though

:(

meaning i may very well not even be schizo
hell i might not even be bipolar

the epilepsy would explain why my iq went from 173 at age 5 to 118 at age 27
i've only done drugs a total of 30 different days in my life at most
doing drugs 30 different independent days out of 27 years would not cause a 55pt drop
hell you could smoke crack all day long 30 back to back days and not have a permanent 55pt drop

i am pretty sure the only thing wrong with me is retinal migraine induced epilepsy along with the brain damage caused by such
Cheers,
Timothy Robert Keal alias jargon

Image
Miser's House Anthology Project

tepples
Posts: 21755
Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 11:12 pm
Location: NE Indiana, USA (NTSC)
Contact:

Post by tepples » Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:17 am

Please get a blog.

User avatar
Roni
Posts: 113
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:55 pm
Location: Montreal
Contact:

Post by Roni » Sat Oct 04, 2008 6:58 am

i agree. not b/c there isn't room for venting on this board but 'coz your story sounds interesting

User avatar
tokumaru
Posts: 11469
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:43 pm
Location: Rio de Janeiro - Brazil

Re: My Mental Illness

Post by tokumaru » Sat Oct 04, 2008 10:43 am

jargon wrote:the guy she is still seeing goes to the same mental health clinic as me
Poor girl.....


Sorry, didn't mean to be rude, but this is hardly the place to talk about this. When we hear this stuff from someone we don't know, it's hard to even tell if it's true, because there are a lot of sick people on the net.

Anyway, if this stuff is really bothering you, you should find someone close (closer than the NES programming dudes from the internet forum) to talk to.

ugetab
Posts: 338
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 12:03 am
Contact:

Post by ugetab » Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:51 pm

I say just don't feed the troll. Accidentally reading what jargon writes entices me to pour out whatever abnormal thinking patterns I get from reading the stuff. If you think you've got some sort of problem, all I can say from recent experience is to look up Alexithymia, and ask yourself if you're 'getting a bodily sensation' from reading something, or if you 'have feelings' about it(see if you 'feel' something identifiable or just 'have sensations' about an imagined extreme). Making such a mistake will certainly make you a bit psychotic if there's a prolonged exposure to this internal misunderstanding. Also, chow down on sunflower kernels, then broccoli for magnesium and B6, so you can recover some psychological fortitude.
NSFs I've ripped:
http://www.angelfire.com/nc/ugetab/

A Searchable list of NSFs from other sites. In Internet Explorer, go to Edit>Find (on This Page)...
http://www.angelfire.com/nc/ugetab/NSFList.txt

cd_vision
Posts: 52
Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:05 pm

Post by cd_vision » Sat Oct 04, 2008 3:33 pm

It's a good time to start getting into investments Jargy. Focus your energy on that for a while, and when the dividends start flowing you'll be an instant chick magnet regardless of your IQ.

User avatar
Jarhmander
Formerly ~J-@D!~
Posts: 488
Joined: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:36 am
Location: Rive nord de Montréal

Post by Jarhmander » Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:47 pm

That is too much of a coincidence... today I was thinking about jargon's mental health... I mean... Jargon, you posted something before about your clinic tests, and wanted to know how things goes so far, but now I know! ... Very sad these things happen to you

User avatar
Zepper
Formerly Fx3
Posts: 3190
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 4:59 pm
Location: Brazil
Contact:

Post by Zepper » Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:08 pm

tepples wrote:Please get a blog.
Please, ban him.

User avatar
tokumaru
Posts: 11469
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:43 pm
Location: Rio de Janeiro - Brazil

Post by tokumaru » Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:17 pm

I'm starting to not want to see him banned. I'm starting to feel amused by his posts. Not this particular one though, which is just plain depressing. Which is why this kind of content is not appropriate. We participate of online communities to amuse ourselves, not to get depressed.

tepples
Posts: 21755
Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 11:12 pm
Location: NE Indiana, USA (NTSC)
Contact:

Post by tepples » Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:33 pm

NotTheCommonDose's early posts were crap. Celius' early posts were crap, and he admits it. My early posts were crap. A lot of regulars' early posts on the various iterations of this board were crap, if you take into account all posts across the Yahoo! Group, wwwThreads, and phpBB 2. That's why I'm not banning jargon just yet. But I might escalate the time-outs if he keeps using General Stuff as his blog.

Celius
Posts: 2157
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:04 pm
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States
Contact:

Re: My Mental Illness

Post by Celius » Sat Oct 04, 2008 8:46 pm

Oh yeah, I can't read my early posts. Though my posts were mostly relevant, I just had a really obnoxious tone and I am quite surprised I wasn't on everyone's "ban him" list.

Yes, very depressing post, and I'm very sorry to hear it all. However,
jargon wrote:...
then i find out after bad sex she is still seeing someone
...
and i am now prolly all full of stds despite wearing a condom
i didn't enjoy the sex at all because i knew something was fishy
...
This is not at all appropriate. Seriously, I think we all appreciate that this forum isn't like YouTube comments, and typing things like that just makes it seem trashy. Also, I'm pretty sure most of us don't want to talk about each other's sex life. I would feel REALLY weird talking to the people around this board if they knew that much about me. It's just too much information.

User avatar
tokumaru
Posts: 11469
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:43 pm
Location: Rio de Janeiro - Brazil

Re: My Mental Illness

Post by tokumaru » Sat Oct 04, 2008 10:22 pm

Celius wrote:Though my posts were mostly relevant, I just had a really obnoxious tone and I am quite surprised I wasn't on everyone's "ban him" list.
I used to laugh at how often you used the word "unreliable". It's understandable, you were trying to find the correct way to do things, but it was still funny how often you used the word. At least I think it was you... my memory is a bit foggy right now and I'm too lazy to check old posts! You used an avatar with a sort of worm on it, didn't you?

Anyway, nobody is a perfect poster. I not only feel that I was a bad poster in the past, but I still do it sometimes. Depending on my state of mind I may sometimes post irrelevant things, reply things after just a quick read of the topic, and other things that causes my posts to be less than interesting.

Celius
Posts: 2157
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:04 pm
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States
Contact:

Post by Celius » Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:29 pm

Hmm... I don't know if I used the word "unreliable" so much, but no need to check my old posts XD... I had pretty much no idea what was ever going on. Oh, and my avatar was an alien character that I made. I started making a cartoon with that character around 2004, but I put it off for a while. It actually has a human body minus feet and the right arm. The left arm has three fingers on it. It's weird.

It's true no one is a perfect poster. Though there are some posters that are so awful they just have to stop posting entirely. I was really close to being one of those posters.

User avatar
Bregalad
Posts: 7768
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 2:49 pm
Location: Chexbres, VD, Switzerland

Post by Bregalad » Sun Oct 05, 2008 1:16 am

Seriously he really must be banned. I guess everyone have asked it at least 20 times.
I don't remember Celius' early posts, but I remember he was originally a little annoying, pasting exemple code and complaining it didn't assemble.
At least he was talking about nesdev and didn't take over 50% of the threads that happen on the board with crap. Jargon does. He should be banned. I doubt he will elvolve and become a great member in 1 year or so.
Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

User avatar
jargon
B&: This is not your blog
Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:40 pm
Location: 480/85260
Contact:

Re: My Mental Illness

Post by jargon » Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:17 am

Celius wrote:
jargon wrote:...
then i find out after bad sex she is still seeing someone
...
and i am now prolly all full of stds despite wearing a condom
i didn't enjoy the sex at all because i knew something was fishy
...
This is not at all appropriate. Seriously, I think we all appreciate that this forum isn't like YouTube comments, and typing things like that just makes it seem trashy. Also, I'm pretty sure most of us don't want to talk about each other's sex life. I would feel REALLY weird talking to the people around this board if they knew that much about me. It's just too much information.
That is part to the lead-in back story to how i ended up even really depressed that night and started to dwell on it.

i always provide a lead-in back story. :/
Cheers,
Timothy Robert Keal alias jargon

Image
Miser's House Anthology Project

Post Reply