Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

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tepples
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Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by tepples »

Several months ago, we discussed my having made a fool of myself with the moderator tools. As far as I can tell, the problems discussed in that topic have been corrected.

Now I appear to have made a fool of myself on Disqus in a discussion about the necessity of home Internet access. What should I have done differently? Was I not pedantic enough?
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dougeff
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by dougeff »

I think your avatar gives off a 'childish' feel. Perhaps he's projecting an assumption of youth onto you because of that.

Edit..
Your language in that discussion was intelligent, and your arguments are thoughtful. I didn't find anything about the content of your posts to deserve a "12 year old" insult.
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Myask
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Myask »

Not having an avatar of a cartoonish, innocently/genuinely smiling apparent youth might help with that.

Also, someone saying "You are twelve years old" on the Internet is engaging in ad hominem.
Revenant
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Revenant »

Calling someone who's obviously an adult "twelve years old" isn't "ad hominem", it's just an insult.

I don't know if there's any practical advice I can offer here other than "pick your battles". It pays to know when to bow out of (or completely avoid) a discussion that has no chance of actually going anywhere productive.
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Drag »

Seconding Revenant. Always remember the possibility of the problem being with the other person and not with you.
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Drew Sebastino
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Drew Sebastino »

I hate when people make false accusations, it drives me mad. How does posting on a weekday equal 12-year-old exactly? He just seems like a legitimate dick, as I didn't see anything you wrote that would cause him to get that pissy, and even if he were a respectable person who just got severely ticked off, I don't think he'd resort to using age as an insult; really, something an actual 12-year-old would do.
I can easily out-a**hole anyone
Seems pretty accurate! :lol:
Not having an avatar of a cartoonish, innocently/genuinely smiling apparent youth might help with that.
Fixed. :lol:
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tepples
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by tepples »

Myask wrote:Not having an avatar of a cartoonish, innocently/genuinely smiling apparent youth might help with that.
I know my real photo is on the Internet, but I just think having it plastered on every one of my posts is doxing myself.
Also, someone saying "You are twelve years old" on the Internet is engaging in ad hominem.
Yet he denied using personal attacks, which I always thought were the same thing as ad hominem.
Drag wrote:Always remember the possibility of the problem being with the other person and not with you.
On the one hand, it's also poor form to shift the blame to someone else prematurely. Remove the log from your own eye, a poor craftsman blames his tools, etc. But on the other hand, I've had other cases where I was slow to stop blaming myself. For instance, about eight years ago, I sort of got down on myself because I couldn't figure out why sprites were flickering in an NES game that I was developing around that time, but only on a PowerPak, not on emulators. It turned out there was an as yet undiscovered interaction between rendering enable ($2001) and OAM refresh, and turning off rendering early to gain more blanking time was confusing the DRAM controller.
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Drew Sebastino
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Drew Sebastino »

tepples wrote:I know my real photo is on the Internet, but I just think having it plastered on every one of my posts is doxing myself.
Yeah, that's probably why most people don't do that. I'm practically under the radar, in that I've only given my name once or twice along with my picture. Google searching my name, I only found my YouTube channel (for making comments) and this website. Suck on that, big data. :lol:

I'm not way too sure the avatar is the problem though. A very young child would use a profile picture like that, but not a pre teen, who would use something "edgy". It would be very apparent that you are not actually 6 years old though from your depth of thought and high vocabulary. (I had never heard of "pedantic" or "doxing".) I seriously doubt he thought you were 12, but was trying to frustrate you, for some unknown reason. Reading the entire discussion, I really don't know why. Why the heck does he keep going on "extortion" when you never said it in the first place?
tepples wrote:Yet he denied using personal attacks
Like anything else he said was true?
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nesrocks
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by nesrocks »

Getting mad at false accusations on the internet is the childish thing to do.

When someone looks at the discussion they will see you were talking as an adult with coherent arguments and suddenly the other part lost it and started throwing personal insults. You can't say what other people will think of you, but your part has been done. Just don't let gratuitous insults affect you, because really, he's just testing for points that hurt you and if he doesn't find one he failed. Hint: nothing someone says should hurt you. You're the king of yourself.

About your avatar, you like whatever you want to like and you don't have to hide it.
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koitsu
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by koitsu »

tepples wrote:Now I appear to have made a fool of myself on Disqus in a discussion about the necessity of home Internet access. What should I have done differently? Was I not pedantic enough?
1. Learn to ease off social media/commentary sites (read: forums (yes including this one), Slashdot, Disqus, Twitter, etc.). For whatever reason, the Internet is filled with a lot of people who just want to battle/argue (those who have known me for 20+ years will find hypocrisy and amusement in me of all people saying that); it's especially prevalent amongst Americans, for whatever reason. "Ease off" means post less / be more selective about what you reply to,

2. If choosing to respond to someone who has never interacted with you before, stay focused on what is being discussed -- do not get off-topic or make strange connections between Subject X and Subject F. If the subject being discussed is complicated (e.g. politics, where Thing X influences Thing Y + Thing Z, which in turn influences Thing A, which also influences Thing Y and Thing X in a sort of ouroboros fashion), then somewhere in your content state that you're aware the issue is more complicated than you can cover in a single/terse response. If you want to add some sarcasm or humour to your reply, don't use emotes/emoji, instead go with "j/k" or "(sarcasm to lighten the tone of our convo)".

3. If your response solicits a reply which has an argumentative or combative tone, apply 2 things: 1) do not reply for 24 hours (i.e. give yourself time to go back later and re-read it in a different state of mind or state of feeling), 2) remember that there is no obligation to reply.

4. If after a few back-and-forths you sense things are going a direction that's unproductive, stop responding entirely; instead, take the time you would've spent replying to go do something that's relaxing (non-stressful) and enjoyable to you. (If replying to everyone on the Internet is somehow relaxing and enjoyable to you, then I really have no advice to give at all.)

This advice comes from someone who used to battle a lot on Usenet back in the very early 90s -- a trait I learned that will take me the rest of my life to unlearn.

Just don't become #4, #8, or #13 -- and if you sense you're communicating with someone who is any of those types, it's probably best not to continue conversation with them.

I had more to say, but I'll leave it at that for now.
nitro2k01
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by nitro2k01 »

Revenant wrote:Calling someone who's obviously an adult "twelve years old" isn't "ad hominem", it's just an insult.
Well, an ad hominem is almost exactly that, using a personal insult in place of an argument.

[personal insult], therefore you are wrong. would be an example of an ad hominem argument.

[relevant facts] and btw [personal insult], therefore you are wrong. technically would not, since the argument isn't intended to rely on the insults.
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nicklausw
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by nicklausw »

Moral of the story: if you disagree with anyone, back off or die.

Not really but some people really can't be bargained with. You didn't do anything 12-year-old like but it's a nice insult!
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Bregalad
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Bregalad »

Tepples is an active member in Nesdev for more than 12 years, thus he can't possibly be 12 years old. (Even if he was 12 when he appeared (I'm saying IF) he would be about 26 now.)
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Fisher
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Re: Help me figure out how to not look like a 12-year-old

Post by Fisher »

Well, reading that thread, Tepples really don't sounds like a 12yr old.
He has a nice sense of humor that I think is fine. :D
But if I would guess any people's age by their acts or words, I would say most politicians are around 10yr old, some sports stars are around 8, and this brazilian deputy is around 4!!
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